8/20/10

Feminist Mom : Power of Words


Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can hurts too....

In a world where we are women should be bonded by motherhood and a sisterhood of women, why is that we are so quick to judge each other when it comes to those groups that are the very link that should bring us closer together?  In my short time of being a mom I have found that although many women claim to that motherhood is this great bond of women, welcome to motherhood....but now I'm going to judge you on every whim, every choice, every decision you make regarding your child.  I simply don't get this!  Maybe I am naive to this situation but in these last four months I have faced some tough critics from those I thought were supposed to be some of my closest alias, and you know what, words hurt.  I have been asked why Drew has been formula fed, not why he's happy and thriving, not why he's healthy and growing.  I've been given apologises for having a c-section and told that I missed out on a birthing experience because I had to have a c-section. 

  What I don't understand is why we are so quick to judge each other's choices or decisions when they aren't our own.  It wasn't my choice to have a c-section but thank the lord I did, because it probably saved Drew's life. In all honesty, I don't feel like I've missed out on any birthing experience because I had a c-section.  I went through 40 hours of labor and I am no less of a mother or woman because I had a c-section.  Yep, I was told that one too.  I shouldn't have to tell every single person that, I shouldn't have to go into detail as to how I feed my child.  I feed my child, be thankful that I do!  Some parents don't and it's not your job to place judgement on me.  As women we should support each other as women as mother's.  I find it absolutely ridiculous that we find it's our place and position to judge another mother's choice just because it's not our own.  Now if the choices a mother is making for her child are unhealthy or unsafe I completely understand it is your right to step in and say something.  However, if a child is thriving, healthy and happy, then I suggest we are women look at the positive bond we can form as mother's, instead that of a place of judgement. 

   Being a women and mother has been a wonderful experience thus far, and I know the judgement and questions will not stop, however, I think that as a generation we can start to realize that each one of us has a right to raise our child as we see fit, and although we may not all raise our children the exact same why, and thank the lord that we don't, we can all come to agree that we should encourage each other as mother's and as women.  So I challenge you, the next time you are ready to pass judgement on a woman or a mother....step back take a second look, step out of your shoes and into theirs.  Maybe the picture isn't always as it seems.  I challenge you to support each other as mother's and women, rather than judge one another and remember, words do hurt.

3 comments:

Amy said...

A-freaking-men!!!!! I have written about it before but man, that is the WORST part of motherhood. We all are in this together and whether or not we all believe the same things, we all do what is best for our families!!!

myshorterstories said...

It is so damn tiring and soul-destroying, the Moms versus Moms thing. Moms who had no pain releif versus Moms who had epidurals, Moms who work versus those who don't, Moms who breastfed until kids were 23 versus Moms who started w bottles from the beginning. I JUST DON'T CARE. Blah blah blah I'm not listening. We are all in this together, doing one of the hardest things anyone is ever going to do...raising kids is one thing all of us have in common, and I don't see how dragging someone else down is going to make it any less so. Good luck. And DAMN! 40 hours???? I woould call you a studette, but that sounds kinda sexist. I thought I had it bad w 4 and 7 hours. I am clearly a big baby myself :)

Melaina25 said...

I *hate* the people who look down on c-section moms. Who ask "will you try for a normal birth next time?"

A *normal* birth? My son was born healthy, who cares if he came out of my stomach or my vagina? The ridiculous assumption that I missed out of something by not having a vaginal birth enrages me.

Why mean girls turn into mean women and mean mommies I will never understand. As mothers and women we should support and help one another, not belitte and undermine each other.

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