I think I may have some anxiety issues

Since Drew's birth I've been a lovely ball of hormones.  Isn't every new mom?  However, I thought everything was pretty much normal per say, until a few weeks ago when I started not being able to sleep.  First,  Drew is not the best sleeper at night.  He naps like a champ, but night time we get about 4 hour stints and that's on a good night.  Anyway, B is amazing and gets up with Drew for his first feeding so I can sleep until around 2 or 3, then it's my turn.  However, Drew will go back to sleep and I can't literally I will be up for hours on end.  Last night I was up from 2:30am-5am. Drew was content and happy sleeping away, and me, tossing and turning in bed. 

Here's the kicker.  I can't sleep because I'm worrying that he's going to wake up.  Currently he's napping and I'm worried he's going to wake up.  This is not normal.  Before Drew was born I was pretty laid back, go with the flow kind of person.  Now I don't recognize this worry wart as I call myself.  The thing is, he's a great napper, will probably nap for at least an hour or two.  I have no idea where this anxiety is coming from, but I think it's about time I go and speak with my physician about it.  If not anything else, to make sure, this is aka normal and I'm not going insane in the membrane!

This anxiety has seemed to really start to rear it's ugly head these past couple of weeks and I have no idea why.  Drew is now on a pretty good schedule, I enjoy staying home with him, and all in all life if pretty good at this point.  What the heck do I have to stressed or anxious about...Like I said, I don't recognize this person that can't sleep at night.  I used to be that person that could fall asleep at the drop of a hat.  Now, not so much.  What's my deal?

I am putting this out there because I would love to hear from other mom's about their experience with anxiety.  I did a little research of my own and I have no exhibited any symptoms of postpartum depression, but there is something called postpartum anxiety disorder that I may very well fit the bill for. I'm not a medical expert by any means but after researching a bit, it seems this is what could be causing my anxiety.

We shall see.

Warning.....gross pics ahead!

Don't say I didn't warn you. As I was looking through our pictures that we have saved on our computer I came across some pics from Father's day 2007. We were living in northern Iowa in our first home and we had a good college friend of B's staying with us.

On sunday afternoon we decided to take my in-laws boat out. We shouldn't have since it was way too windy, but we thought our friend hadn't been on the lake before and we should go. All in the the ride was dandy and as we were coming into the slip it got a bit rocky. Well B got the boat in the slip and said " hey Ab, I need to get some weight out of the boat so I can get it up" the boat was bouncing around and it could badly damage the boat.

So I started to get out of the boat set the cooler and my bag on the dock, went to get out and slammed my head into the boat lift. It was a blunt metal piece that hurt like a mother. I thought I had just smacked it pretty hard and I would have a nasty bump. Well I put my left hand over the top of my head and stepped back onto the boat and immediately B ran to me.

I then sat down and took my hand down from my head, it was covered and I mean covered in blood. Ouchy!! Apparently it was also running down my face at this point. B said " honey I need to get the boat up, Shannon is going to help you out and get you upstairs and I will be right up". Our friend Shannon helped me up, and I walkeed up to my in-laws house, got some ice and a rag that I soaked through in about 3 minutes.

So after all that debacle B took me to the hospital and I ended up having to get 6 staples, and a tetnus shot, I hated the shot more than the staples.

So the little joke is that I had sent my dad his gift early and I told him that I emailed him one more gift, he has the same twisted sense of humor as I do. Well he took it to his staff meeting Monday morning and put the pics up on the projetor and said " look what my daughter got me for Father's day". Anyway, seriously, do not go any further if you don't want to see some gross pics, nothing too bloody, but still my head is cut open.

After I got home from the ER, I immediately put my pj's on, I have no idea why it was around 4pm in the afternoon! You can see that my hair id red on the right side of your screen, thankfully I could wash it the next day!

I was most worried that they would have to cut my hair, but they didn't!

Looking a little rough, and had a bad headache! Please excuse the tatas and pj's.




Have a great weekend!