With Peanut's arrival fast approaching my fear of having a second child is starting to creep up in my mind. Of course we planned for this child, we love this baby and I know we will be fine and adjust to life with two kiddos, however my fear of doing the balancing act is very apparent and as each day of my pregnancy moves along the fear doesn't seem to simmer down.
Please do not get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing we want more than to have another child, it's the unknown that scares the living day lights out of me. Will I be able to balance two kids? What if Drew is needing something and baby is needing fed. I know it sounds so silly and it probably is. I truly hope the transition is very smooth, but I fear finding a good balance. I fear that Drew will resent Brendan and I for bringing his sibling into the world. When Peanut arrive Drew will be 25 months old, he won't know that someday his sibling will be his dear friend, he will just realize mommy is now splitting her time between him and the baby.
I've tried to read everything I absolutely can on acclimating Drew with the new baby, and not turning his world upside down, but I can't help but wonder and be a little fearful that he will feel abandoned. That honestly is my worst fear, that my baby will resent me, that thought alone breaks my heart.
I'm reaching out to all those mom's of two or more, or just anyone who has any advice, how did the transition go? How did you make your older child still feel special and not resent your new addition? I'd appreciate and literature, or personal experience you've had. Give me anything you've got!
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Our daughter was born 3 months ago, and our son was just over 2 years old when she arrived. I am not going to lie to you and say that it was easy to transition, because it wasn't! Brayden was used to getting me all of the time. However, since I exclusively nurse Kenley, that just wasn't possible.
My mom said something to me that really hit me- she said you have to choose the bigger need. Since I am basically responsible for sustaining Kenley's life, her needs are the bigger ones, but not all of the time. When I nurse K, I always have something out for Brayden to play with, or I let him watch part of a movie. Having snacks that he can get on his own has helped as well. I use the time when K is sleeping to have my time with him, and somedays, the dishes and laundry just have to wait- because he is the bigger need.
It's not easy but it certainly is doable! :) Good luck!
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